Nigerian Arsenal Fan.

I recently asked my younger brother, an Arsenal fan, if he ever followed Nigeria's football league. He gave me a look. It was a look of disbelief and the unspoken question: 'why are you stressing me???' Maybe I shouldn't have asked him that question shortly after Arsenal had lost a match. But I understood the... Continue Reading →

Love in the time of harmattan.

Every year, (and I mean EVERY YEAR) we Nigerians are extremely surprised when the weather changes to become very cold and dry at the end of the year. This time of the year is known as harmattan and usually starts in December. Our usual default weather settings are either sunny days or rainy days. These... Continue Reading →

England, my on-again, off-again boyfriend vs Nigeria, my long-term relationship.

There you are, England!     My sweetheart who I see from time to time. Why I love you: -Great customer service, great customer service and great customer service. -Did I mention great customer service? -Shopping here is an experience for me, not a chore. -Freedom of sorts; you can be a version of yourself... Continue Reading →

Allergies Everywhere!

I'm allergic to dust, please sweep gently and with caution. I'm allergic to stuffy environments, please open a window. I'm allergic to to windy environments, please close the window. I'm allergic to to cheap perfumes, please go and stand by that corner. I'm allergic to cheap food; 5 star dining only, please. I'm allergic to... Continue Reading →

If Alcohol Tasted Like Mangoes, I Would Be An Alcoholic.

I am an introvert who once in a while, decides to leave the house to spend quality time with friends; sometimes under duress, other times of my own free will. I am often the resident ‘goody two-shoes’ when I’m with them. I must say that this title is not one I would give to myself.... Continue Reading →

2015: The Year Of The Tooth (Extractions).

I have had the great misfortune of having two teeth removed within the space of six months in 2015. One tooth was removed because it was almost completely covered by my gum and was causing a lot of pain. The second one was removed because it had a bad cavity, which also caused pain. In... Continue Reading →

Nigerian Horror Story: Tailor Nightmares.

I don't even...I can't even...the trauma I've experienced under the hands of Nigerian tailors isn't allowing me to finish some of my sentences. We all have phrases which make us anxious. One of mine is the following phrase: 'Hi Ivie, I would like to give you this aso-ebi fabric for XYZ event...' My anxiety wouldn't... Continue Reading →

Things I wish I could invent.

Things I wish I could invent: *Automatic braids removal machine. It would have two varieties: 1. A brisk impersonal version. You just stick your head in, it loosens your braids, combs your hair afterwards, then asks you to get out. Very efficient (and slightly rude, but you'll get over it). 2. A companion version. It... Continue Reading →

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