Grief Update: One Year and Eight Months.

-I carry out my daily tasks in a matter-of-fact and kind of numb way.

-The number of calls, messages and visits following my Mums death have basically stopped as people get on with their lives. I do still get contacted by her close friends once in a while, which is nice

-I dream about my Mum often; at least two or three times a week. Most of the time in the dreams, we are just hanging out, with her laughing and sharing jokes in her usual manner. A handful of times, I see her in distress, which can be upsetting.

-I have learned a lot about myself since her death, the main lesson being that I am like her in a lot of ways: my approach to tackling responsibilities, and me finding calmness in my own company.

-I always want to talk about her-always-but I find myself only doing so with people I recognize as having empathy. Most people expect I would have gotten over her death completely by now, which is not the case. It’s just something I have to live with.

-To deal with grief, I recommend doing things which make you happy. For me, this is reading, crocheting, knitting, praying, listening to music, watching comedy and quiz shows, and having one or two friends I confide in who listen to me patiently, even if they have heard me speak about my Mum a million times.

I miss her.

Ivie M. Eke 2022.

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